


Safe As Horses

by nyxocity



Series: It's Not Living (If It's Not With You) Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Co-workers, Comedy, Dirty Talk, Drama, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Phone Sex, Quarantine, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, and they were zoommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 18:08:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29780082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxocity/pseuds/nyxocity
Summary: Almost a year to the day since they met online, and then in person, Jensen and Jared are still living under quarantine. They're finally going outside, in controlled circumstances, to ride horses and celebrate Jensen's birthday. They've come a long way in the last almost year, but Jensen is worried about their first time outside the house (even though he knows he shouldn't be).
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Series: It's Not Living (If It's Not With You) Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188770
Comments: 22
Kudos: 215





	Safe As Horses

Jensen rises from the depths of sleep slowly, like a man rising from the ocean to the surface, sunlight twinkling above him, dancing on his eyelids in the moment before he opens them.

There’s still sunlight, bright and beautiful as it streams in through the blinds, painting the walls with thin, concise lines. There’s the smell of breakfast, too; eggs and fried sausage and the sweet smell of pancakes. He recognizes the intermingled scents immediately, but he doesn’t have time to consider what they mean before Jared appears in his line of vision, clad in nothing except a pair of midnight blue boxer briefs, the word SAXX written across the waistband in dark red letters, breakfast tray balanced in his hands, his smile the brightest light in the room.

They’ve been working out with Jensen’s weight bench as much as they can, and Jared looks amazing, shoulders broad and full, chest amazingly sculpted, abs somehow perfect. They're both pale from lack of sun, but Jared’s always been a bit tinted toward tan, and he just… glows. 

“Good morning.” Jared grins, crossing the distance to the side of the bed and sliding in carefully alongside Jensen, tray still balanced in his hands. Loki jumps up just behind Jared, stepping up onto Jared’s bare knee, and Jensen can hear the jingle of Thor’s tags on that side of the bed, too, hear the dog’s light footsteps and then the weight of him settling against the floor.

“Mmm,” Jensen hums, smile blooming like a flower as everything falls into place. “You made breakfast.”

“I did,” Jared says, proud, and presents said breakfast. 

Laid out prettily on the plain white plates are sausage patties sizzled crispy on the outside, eggs over medium, and pancakes light and fluffy, drizzled in liberal stripes of syrup. There are two pale, yellow daffodils (that Jared surely plucked from the front yard) laid on the tray above the two plates, flanked by steaming mugs of coffee on either side, and it all smells like heaven.

“My favorite delivery boy, too,” Jensen remarks, smile curving into a smirk. And to be honest, he’s way more interested in the delivery boy than the delivery itself, even though his stomach gives a small, hungry grumble at the smell of all that food. Jared’s sitting up and Jensen is still very much lying down, so he rolls over, body pressing up against the long, firm shape of Jared beside him, kissing Jared’s elbow, since it’s the closest part of Jared he can reach. 

“The delivery place said you asked for me by name,” Jared says, falling into the idea. A pause, and then he says, affecting shyness, “I’m starting to think you have a crush on me, Mister Ackles.”

“I’m starting to think you like it, since you showed up in your underwear,” Jensen murmurs, grinning. 

“Okay,” Jared says, taking a deep breath as he seems to pull himself from the moment. “Much as I wanna roleplay this out… the food is going to get cold if we don’t eat.”

Jensen wants to tell him they can eat it cold, but Jared did go to all this trouble, and Jared rarely cooks an entire meal alone for them. He’s gotten good at cooking, but Jensen still does the bulk of it, just because he enjoys it so much, Jared helping him chop and dice and stir while they listen to music and talk.

“Okay,” Jensen relents, still grinning. “But we’re totally coming back to this delivery boy scenario again later.”

“Absolutely,” Jared agrees, leaning over as far as he can with the tray settled across his thighs.

Jensen scoots up the bed and rises to kiss him, lips meeting in sweet warmth across the aroma of maple syrup.

*  
  


They eat, occasionally forking a bit of food from the others plate, and after, the breakfast tray is set aside with its empty plates and cups, daffodils and a few tiny splashes of syrup all that remain. Loki hops lightly onto the night stand, sniffing at the tray, and Jared shoos him away--an act that earns Jared a stiff meow before the cat jumps to the floor, sending a dramatic, baleful look over his shoulder before he stalks away. Thor watches all of this with great curiosity, and then follows Loki’s trail down the hall.

Jensen and Jared curl up on the bed, facing each other, Jensen’s belly as full as his heart as he gazes into those strange, beautiful eyes. He honestly thinks he’s never going to get used to this; this gorgeous, perfect man living with him, looking back at him with all the love he feels.

Jared leans his face in closer, lips pressing to Jensen’s and Jensen kisses him back lazily, tongue sweeping over Jared’s lower lip.

“Happy birthday,” Jared breathes out into his mouth, fingers running through his hair, sinking deep and flexing, and fuck he feels so good, so warm and alive and perfect, sunshine made flesh.

Somehow, through the haze of kissing Jared, the words sink in, take hold, find meaning. Jensen draws back fractionally, shakes his head slightly. “I can’t believe it’s March again.”

Jared smirks, eyes gleaming, and Jensen arches a brow at him.

“What do you mean _again_ ?” Jared demands. “It’s _still_ March,” Jared tells him, his eyes growing wider. “It’s always _been_ March.” He shifts his body against Jensen’s and takes him by the shoulders, rolling him over against the mattress. Jared lands on top with a grin, his gorgeous eyes flaring wildly.

“It,” Jared intones, his voice foreboding and dark, “ _will always be_ _March_.”

“On the bright side,” Jensen offers with a smirk, “we had breakfast in bed.”

“Well that makes everything better,” Jared whispers, smiling.

“As long as we’re keeping things in perspective,” Jensen says, and grins.

“Perspective,” Jared scoffs, voice soft. “Who needs that?”

“Clearly not us,” Jensen responds, twining his fingers through Jared’s. He can feel the warm metal of Jared’s ring between his fingers, pressed there like the promise it is. There’s a matching one on Jensen’s left hand. Jared had insisted that Jensen have an engagement ring, too; had designed himself online and had it delivered. 

Jensen’s ring has green and yellow agate set into it, and Jensen had never thought of his eyes as being jade colored with amber flecks in them, but apparently, according to Jared, that’s exactly what they look like. He can feel the weight of his own ring, likes it best when his is pressed against Jared’s, but with Jared on top of him that’s pretty much impossible.

Not that he’s complaining. 

“Mmm,” Jensen hums, mouth kissing Jared’s again. “Can’t we just pretend March isn’t happening and stay in bed all day?”

“Nope,” Jared tells him, and kisses him once, lingering. “We have plans today. We’re _leaving the house_ today.”

Jensen’s stomach tightens a little, the slightest sense of trepidation. “It feels so weird.” He runs a hand through Jared’s long locks--tips touching the tops of his strong shoulders--loving the luxurious feel. “At this point _not_ leaving the house feels so normal that going outside feels crazy.”

“I know.” Jared nods. “But we’re being careful.” Jared pauses, then smiles at him, lopsided and full of joy. “And it’s your birthday.”

“I know,” Jensen replies and summons a smile. It isn’t hard, looking at what’s in front of him.

Jared kisses his smile, warmth pressing and holding.

*

They’ve taken the day off from work and Jeff was happy enough to let them. Living together has made them an even better team than they’d been to start with, and spending all their time together turned out to help them focus. They’ve finished three top priority contracts in the last year for some pretty high profile clients, and Jeff pretty much lets them run on their own these days, trusting them to get the work finished, beautifully and on time. 

Of course, Jeff’s initial reaction to them moving in together after a week (eight days, Jensen had insisted weakly) had been equal parts hysterical and terrifying. It had taken Jeff somewhere around a full minute to find his voice after Jensen had told him the news, his face working through what Jensen swears were the five stages of grief inside of sixty seconds. He’d cursed then, declared it a human resources nightmare, and for the span of the following thirty seconds of silence, Jensen had feared for both their jobs. 

And of course, Jared had taken that opportunity to tell Jeff not to worry and extend Jeff an invitation to their eventual wedding. Jensen had really been scared, then; he’d never seen Jeff’s face go completely blank before. Eventually (probably only after ten seconds but it felt like years) Jeff had laughed and so had Jared, and Jensen had joined in. That had been the end of it, but Jensen still hasn’t told Jeff about their engagement. 

It’s not like they’re going to get married before the pandemic is over anyway. They can’t. Jensen has very specific plans.

In the kitchen, Jared is doing the dishes without Jensen’s help (despite all Jensen’s offers), and they have a bit before they need to leave, so Jensen makes a detour into the office.

Jensen sits down in front of the laptop, clicking his way into the National Zoo cameras. In the weeks following the Cheetah litter birth, the zoo had held an online contest to name each one. Jared’s choice for a name had won, and Jensen thinks they’d always feel like these Cheetah’s were special for the role they’d played in their relationship. But this one feels like theirs, at least a little, because they’d named her. She’s extra special.

“What’s Hela up to, today?” Jared asks as he comes up behind Jensen, leaning over his shoulder.

She’s smaller and slighter than the only other female of the litter, which makes her easy to pick out. They find her lying in the early morning sun, near the entrance of the sleeping area, sunlight glittering at the tips of her fur. A light breeze ruffles through her fur like a shudder, but her muscles never move, proud and beautiful amongst the tall, dry winter grass. 

“Taking in the day, looking gorgeous as usual,” Jensen remarks with pride.

“I’m telling you…” Jared shakes his head, “some days I think she’s sexier than I am.”

Jensen cranes his neck to look at Jared, grinning. “Not a chance in hell.”

*

Things feel different outside. First of all, they’re outside, which is pretty different. Also, they’re about to embark on a journey. Together. They’re about to get into a car and drive somewhere together to go do something, for the first time _ever_.

Jensen is hyper-aware of this, and he isn’t entirely sure why. He feels a sense of dread in his stomach, rising up and clutching around his heart with anxiety.

“Hey,” Jared says, turning toward him, arms slipping around his waist with ease. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Jensen nods, pushing a smile to his lips. “It’s good. This’ll be fun.”

Jared squints at him, like he’s weighing the truth of Jensen’s words.

“I’m fine,” Jensen insists.

Jared surveys him a moment longer and then shakes his head. “I don’t believe you.”

“I _will_ be fine,” Jensen corrects. 

“That, I believe,” Jared says, and smiles.

He kisses Jensen once, long and lingering, and then pulls back, the two of them looking at each other for a moment before they move toward the car.

There’s not as much to pack for their trip as Jensen would have thought, and as they load the car with everything they need, Jensen is struck by how warm the day is. It feels more like May than the first day of March.

They finish loading up and then stand back, considering the open trunk and all its contents for a moment.

“Do you…” Jared starts, looking at the car. “I mean, who…”

Who should drive? That’s the question. It’s one they haven’t had to ask. They literally haven’t left the house since Jared came to stay; gas cans delivered to them, both vehicles started up and cycled through enough time that the batteries haven’t died. 

“You can drive if you want to,” Jensen offers, uncertain.

“No. I’m good with you driving,” Jared answers, already heading toward the passenger side.

“Okay,” Jensen responds, still feeling uncertain, but Jared’s already out of earshot, opening the car door. 

Jensen stands there a moment longer, strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he doesn’t like it; this feeling of dread creeping in around the edges. He’s had plenty of time to think about it, knows as well as he knows anything exactly what it is. And it’s silly. It’s stupid. But in the last almost year they’ve been together, he and Jared have never actually gone out and _done_ anything. Their entire relationship has been confined to the walls of this house and the reaches of cyberspace.

Jensen doesn’t know if he’s any good at doing anything else.

Jensen sighs and then shuts the trunk.

*

Jensen’s mother had disappeared into knitting when the pandemic started, and for Christmas she had sent them three sweaters each; deep earth tones, beige and white, with six, long knitted scarves to match. They’d also each gotten a cap and a pair of thick gloves, and Jensen loves his mother very much, but he wonders where she thought they would wear these things during all the time they _wouldn’t_ be spending outside this winter. Jensen doesn’t enjoy the cold so much that he’d go out just to spend time in it, and Jared can’t stand it, which goes to show that they’re both Texas born and bred, he supposes. So to be out in the cold would mean they’d have to be going somewhere, which they very much haven’t been.

And here they finally are--finally actually going somewhere--and it’s as warm a spring day as anyone could wish for; no scarves or hats or gloves required. He’d probably be more surprised at it being this warm on March first if it hadn’t been seventy-two degrees on Christmas Eve last year. 

They’re still in the car, though. Not because of the weather, but because they’re waiting. Jensen eyes the stables in the distance, more than a little apprehensive. But Jared seems calm, confident and cheerful as ever, which Jensen finds a tiny bit reassuring. 

Jared talks on his phone to the stable hand for a bit, and when everything is set, the guy moves out and moves on, getting into his vehicle and leaving. It’s about 10am on Saturday morning, all the horses have been tended to, and they worked out a block of private time so they won’t have to interact with other riders--which Jensen supposes is only possible because of the pandemic. But all in all, it means, It’s just the two of them, and the horses.

“All right,” Jared says, looking Jensen in the eye. “She’s new here, and she’s going to be excited by… me and pretty much everything.” Jared shifts his jaw, his eyes softening as he smiles. “She’s going to love you.{"

“Do horses understand love?” Jensen asks, and this is a real question he’s never thought about before now.

“They so do,” Jared says, emphatic. He leans in, gripping Jensen’s arm gently and kissing him. “It’s going to be amazing, I promise,” Jared adds, and then he turns, reaching for the door handle, opening their car to the world.

It’s a weird moment. Weird enough to be in a car, but weirder that they’re about to go into the open world. The open air. Somewhere that isn’t their yard. Jensen puts his hand on the door handle, pausing for a moment, and then he opens it, stepping out.

It’s been a long time since he walked around in the open world and it really doesn’t feel safe, but he knows it’s as safe as they can be. And it really is the open world; there’s nothing but the stables and the wide expanse of fields, the trees and farm buildings in the distance.

Jared takes Jensen by the hand, fingers lacing together, comfortable and familiar, leading Jensen along to the stables.

Horses hang their head over the edges of their stall doors, big eyes bright with curiosity, soft whickering and lightly tossed manes. And then, one, stamping and making high pitched noises of excitement as they approach.

“Freya,” Jared breathes, and grins, letting go of Jensen’s hand.

She’s overjoyed as she sees Jared, whinnying and prancing inside the stall, and Jared goes straight to the stall door and leans up, arms wrapping around her massive neck. She’s too keyed up to let him hold her long though, ducking back into her stall so she can see him, and Jared leans in, forehead pressed against her long nose for a moment, patting the side of her face.

It justifiably takes her more than a minute or two to register Jensen’s presence, and when she does, she cocks her head to one side, considering him before looking back to Jared with a snort.

“She thinks you're pretty,” Jared tells Jensen, in all seeming seriousness.

Jensen blinks and searches the horse’s face for a long moment before looking at Jared. 

“That just means she has eyes,” Jared assures him with a grin, leaning to press his lips against Jensen’s.

Freya whinnies, a playful sound as she pushes her not inconsiderable muzzle into the side of Jared’s head.

“She's also jealous,” Jared tells him, laughing, and Freya nuzzles against Jared’s cheek. Jared turns his head into Freya’s intrusion, lips brushing her nose lightly. “Which _also_ just means she has eyes,” Jared finishes, and chuckles.

“Hey,” Jared whispers, his fingers tangled in Freya’s mane, pulling her ear close against his mouth, her chin tucked over his shoulder. “Hey. He’s special, okay? You be careful with him, all right? I love you.” Jared pulls back and kisses her nose, velvety looking skin against his lips. “But I love him, too.”

“He’s going to be my husband,” Jared tells her, staring into her huge, beautiful brown eyes. 

Freya pulls back, lifts her face slightly and snorts, hard puff of air blowing Jared’s hair back from his face. She swings her enormous head around and eyes Jensen, as if considering him. There’s a speculative glint in her eyes, an intelligent mirth that seems to say, “Really? You’re gonna marry _this_ guy?”

She pushes her face out at Jensen, ears falling forward, nostrils expanding as she sniffs him.

“Hi,” Jensen whispers, and he doesn’t step backward no matter how much he wants to because this, no matter how silly it seems, also seems incredibly important.

Freya whickers, ears tipping forward, brushing the velvety looking skin of her nose against Jensen’s face, and it feels almost as soft as it looks.

“Hi,” Jensen says again and smiles, slow as he reaches up to touch the side of her face. She looks at him a moment longer, and then leans her head into the touch. Jensen’s smile widens, gratified, and he strokes carefully along the side of her face. “Yeah, there’s a good girl,” he whispers. He looks to Jared, about to say, ‘hey, see, she likes me’, and is struck completely silent by the open adoration in Jared’s face. Pride, love and confirmation.

“I knew she’d love you,” Jared says.

*

Jensen doesn’t know much about horses, but he knows a little, enough to know what breed she is. She’s a Quarter Horse and she’s gorgeous, deep chestnut color that glimmers and catches at the edges, burning red and copper in the sunlight, mane and tail the pure black of raven’s feathers. The same pure black climbs halfway to her knees like socks, her hooves an even darker shade. 

She’s gigantic. A beautiful, formidable beast, and Jensen feels small in her presence.

“It’s like riding a bike,” Jared assures him as he closes the gate to the round pen. 

“A bike?” Jensen repeats, half disbelieving, half hopeful.

Jared turns, looking at Freya, who stares back with a mischievous gleam in her dark eyes. She prances across her forelegs as she whinnies, and it takes all of Jensen’s will not to step backward.

“You’re not helping,” Jared mutters at her, she subsides a tiny bit.

Jared meets Jensen’s eyes. “It’s like riding a bike… that can make really bad decisions.” 

“That’s not comforting,” Jensen says.

“You have to learn how to not let them make those bad decisions. You can’t always control them completely, but you can do a lot to pull them away from bad decisions.”

“Not completely?” Jensen asks, eyeing Freya, askance.

“She’s a living, breathing animal,” Jared says, turning and checking the security of the training saddle. “She’s well trained, but she can still get spooked, just like us.” Jared glances up at him smiles. “Don’t worry. I’m going to teach you everything.”

Jensen eyes Freya, from the height of her head, along the length of her spine to her slowly swishing tail. “And it’s safe?”

Jared’s smile creases his beautiful face, eyes crinkling at the edges. “You know how people say ‘safe as houses’? And it’s supposed to mean everything’s one hundred percent safe?”

Jensen nods.

“A friend of mine always likes to say, ‘safe as horses’. Because nothing’s ever one hundred percent safe. But horses are pretty damned close when they’re well trained.”

Jensen considers that for a moment.

“And what do you think?” Jensen asks.

“I think,” Jared says, straightening and moving close into Jensen’s space, hands gliding around his waist, up his back to his shoulder blades. “You’re both safe as houses.”

And how? How is Jensen supposed to resist this? Sunshine shaped into the most beautiful form he can imagine? Gorgeous eyes and brilliant smile and Jensen has always been doomed, but this is a moment when he feels it more than others.

He’s so doomed, and he’s so fucked, and he’s so going to get on this horse even though he’s terrified of her power, and not just because Jared wants him to, but because Jared thinks he _can_. 

“Kiss me,” Jensen demands.

And Jared does, long and deep, and so very, incredibly sweet. Lips fused together, tongues tangling beautifully between, and Jensen doesn’t understand how Jared is the only thing that’s ever mattered, he just knows that Jared is. That he could kiss Jared for eternity; crush him close and feel the heat of Jared’s body against his until all the time ran out.

“I love you,” Jared whispers.

“I love you, too,” Jensen breathes back, tilting his forehead against Jared’s.

Jared’s mouth widens in a smile. “So are you ready?”

Jensen nods. “Yes.”

“Just remember. She’s a horse,” Jared says, pulling back. “An exceptionally intelligent, devious horse,” he amends. “But still just a horse.”

“Okay,” Jensen says, and smiles. “Show me.”

*

And Jared does. Jared helps him up onto Freya, helps him settle into the saddle, steadies his girl and goes straight into training mode. 

They go slow around the circle, Freya seeming to want to go beyond their plodding pace but obeying. Jared takes full charge, staying close by and giving Jensen direction. Falling into the rhythm of her steps gets harder once Jared has her increase to a trot, dust rising from beneath her hooves. 

After a bit, Jared has her stop, and they rest for a moment beside the wooden fence, Jensen still astride Freya.

“I thought this would be more like sex,” Jensen remarks, and Jared looks at him askance. 

Jensen laughs. “I meant, how it is when you find your rhythm with someone. Sometimes it’s not perfect at first, but usually after a bit, you get going and you start moving together.”

Jared chuckles. “Yeah, this is not like that. At all. It takes practice. But you do fall into it eventually, and once you do, you don’t forget. Like riding a bike,” Jared says, and grins.

Jensen bites at the inside of his lower lip, smiling back. He wants to be good at this--to be good at it for Jared--but apparently it’s not the kind of thing you get good at right away. And he knew that, he really did, he’d done some research. But he’d still apparently held out some kind of hope that he might be a miracle rider.

He isn’t, though. He’s disappointed, but Jared seems okay with it, and that’s really all that matters.

Jared runs him through practicing riding a while longer, starting with a slow trot, urging Freya into a faster trot until his hips start to feel loose and his shirt is beginning to soak through with sweat in places. He feels like he’s starting to get the hang of it a little, and Jared must agree, because they head back to the stables, then, walking side by side, Jared leading Freya by the reins behind them.

Jared hands Jensen Freya’s reins when they arrive, and opens another stall door.

This horse is even larger than Freya, which Jensen finds amazing. His coat is the color of champagne (appropriate, Jensen supposes, since his name is Champagne Problems) which makes his black mane and stockings even more striking. He’s sweet and calm as Jared saddles him up.

“Ready?” Jared asks, with an eager, beautiful grin.

Jensen nods, and thinks he’d follow that grin to the ends of the earth.

Jensen rides Freya alongside Jared on Champagne Problems, Jared a horsehead’s length ahead as he leads. They ride at a slow trot along a beautiful trail that winds through the tall trees, branches high above them just beginning to sprout tiny green leaves. It’s a gorgeous day, sweat on Jensen’s skin cooling in the lower temperature of the forest, dappled sunlight falling on them in patches.

Jensen takes a deep breath of the fresh, clean air and looks at Jared, catches Jared looking back at him, smiles blooming on both their faces, and it feels so good to be here, out in the world with this amazing man who’s going to be his husband. He’s missed being outside, but more than that, he’s missed being able to do things like this with Jared. He gave up wondering a long time ago how he can miss things he’s never had--given up wondering around the time he’d realized he missed having Jared with him even though he’d never actually been in Jared’s company. 

He’s missed this.

They ride for about fifteen minutes until they come to a small clearing, trees drawing back in an uneven circle, grass just beginning to grow back, patches of deep green and yellow beneath the open sunlight approaching midday.

Jared shows him how to tie off the horses, looping the ropes around slender trees, slender, deft fingers tying off an intricate knot for each, and it’s way hotter than it should be, the way Jared is so competent at all of this.

They move out into the clear sunshine, unloading their packs. First the blanket, smoothed down across a level span of grass, and then the food.

Jared sprawls back across the pale blue blanket, resting on one elbow over his paper plate, long legs stretched out, t-shirt riding up his belly to reveal the bottom edge of his abs. And Jensen knows what they look like bare, but it still makes his mouth water, seeing that little tease of skin. 

They’d both made the lunch they’d packed; turkey sandwiches with cheddar and mustard, potato salad with ice packs stuffed in around its container, a bottle of wine and a cherry pie--Jensen’s favorite. 

“So what do you think?” Jared asks, scooping potato salad onto his plastic fork. 

“It’s fun,” Jensen says, smiling. It _has_ been fun. 

“Think you’ll want to do it again?” Jared asks, brows rising.

“Until I’m an expert,” Jensen asserts.

“That’s my man,” Jared says, eyes lighting up as he smiles at Jensen. 

He’s draped across the blanket like a gorgeous promise, calves hanging well over the edge--Jensen doubts the blanket has been made that could hold the entirety of Jared’s long, tall body--sunlight dancing over his skin, wide, bright smile between those beautiful, pink lips, and he looks like… he looks like _everything._ Everything real and imagined and some things no one ever thought of, all wrapped into one, gigantic package, sunbeams in his eyes and sugar spun from his lips, chiseled muscle and strong bones and a heart so huge Jensen sometimes wonders how even Jared’s huge frame can hold it inside.

“Have I told you yet today that you’re amazing?” Jensen asks, looking at him in wonder.

“Only three times,” Jared replies. “Kind of below par, honestly.” He affects a look of disappointment, lower lip poking out just the tiniest bit.

“You’re amazing,” Jensen tells him in all honesty.

Jared chews his potato salad, smiling close-mouthed around it. He swallows, wiping at the corner of his delectable mouth with a paper napkin. “No fair saying it when I couldn’t answer.”

Jensen lifts one shoulder in a shrug, smiling. “You’d just say you know, anyway.”

“It’s true,” Jared says, grinning. “I am pretty amazing.” He leans across the food between them, kissing Jensen gently. “Not as amazing as you, but I try.”

“You succeed,” Jensen tells him, sincere.

Jared smiles and kisses him again. He draws back, then, looking around at the clearing.

“Can you believe it’s been a whole year?” Jared asks, wonder in his voice.

“It feels like it’s been twenty years.” Jensen pauses, considering. “And like it’s been twenty minutes.”

Jared twirls the points of his plastic fork against his plate, thoughtful, and then he meets Jensen’s eyes directly.

“We’ve barely left the house in eleven months, Jensen. You sure you’re not sick of me?” Jared asks, and his tone is teasing, but for a moment his eyes are soft, vulnerable, hazel clinging to the pupils inside a sea of blue.

And Jensen… Jensen just looks at him for a long moment. This tall, gorgeous, sweetheart of a man--miles and miles of him--who’s given Jensen everything he never even knew he could want. This man who’s made him happy, kept him sane, and without whom (Jensen is coming to suspect), he would be well and truly lost.

“You,” Jensen tells him, “are the most amazing person I’ve ever known. If I had a thousand years with you it wouldn’t be long enough.”

“Jensen,” Jared breathes, slightest hitch in the sound. “God.” Jared exhales, those strange, gorgeous eyes never leaving Jensen’s. “I wish there was something else I could say besides I love you. Something besides I trust you. Something besides you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever known. Some word or phrase that expresses everything I feel about you. Because I feel all of those things, I mean them all. But none of them are enough.”

There’s a long moment where Jensen simply can’t find words at all--not even the small ones like ‘I love you’, much less ones like, ‘You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me’, or ‘My life would be meaningless without you’. All of them are true, and yet, like Jared said, none of them are enough. No words could ever be enough.

“They haven’t made words for how I feel about you, yet,” Jensen agrees, reaching out to tuck Jared’s hair behind his ear, thumb brushing against the beard running along his jaw.

Jared leans in, kissing him fiercely, passion and all the things they don’t have words for behind it, and Jensen answers in kind, jaw lifting to meet him, tongues swirling sweetly through deep fire, lips pressed against teeth almost painful, and he doesn’t back away from it, reaching up with his other hand to take Jared’s face between his palms, pulling him closer, kissing him even deeper, until he’s dizzy with it, breathless.

They break apart after a moment, looking at each other with lingering smiles, words become unimportant.

Jensen shakes his head, first in amazement, and then more slowly, growing rueful. “And to think… I was worried about today.”

“Worried?” Jared asks, his brows drawing together in a frown.

Jensen inhales slowly, thinking for a moment before he speaks.

“We’ve never done anything outside the house, and I guess… no, I _know_ I was worried I might not know what to do, how to act. Or worse,” he takes a breath, swallows. “That I’d be boring to you.”

Jared blinks at him in momentary surprise.

“You,” Jared tells him, leaning to brush his lips against Jensen’s, “could never be boring.” He shakes his head slowly back and forth, looking at Jensen like he’s a revelation. “Ten thousand years with you and I’d still wake up every morning, grateful you’re there beside me.”

Jensen smiles, feeling bathed in the sunlight of that smile as much as he feels suffused by the sun above them. “I know. It was stupid. But... we still have so many firsts ahead of us, so many things we should have done already, and we can’t because of this pandemic.”

“Hey, Jensen,” Jared says, voice low and soothing. “That’s okay. We’ll get there. This pandemic won’t last forever. Lots of people are already getting vaccinated. And besides, even if we never did? I’d be perfectly happy to spend the rest of my life inside a house. Hell, I’d spend it on a street corner. As long as you’re there with me.”

“Me, too,” Jensen says, swallowing against the emotion in his throat, corner of his mouth pulling into a sweet, fond smile.

“You know,” Jared says, voice low, conspiratorial. “We blocked off three hours of time… there shouldn’t be anyone riding along this trail.”

“Not even the locals?” Jensen asks, arching a brow.

Jared shrugs, smirking. “I’m willing to risk it.”

Jensen grins and rises to his knees, maneuvering across the food before he grabs Jared and lays him down against the blanket, falling against him, bodies molding together as he kisses him. Long, sweet and slow, tongues caressing each other, bodies rocking against each other through their c clothes until Jensen pulls Jared up to a sitting position, rips his shirt over his head and then turns, moving until his back against the blanket, ground hard and lumpy beneath him, Jared above him, legs straddling Jensen’s hips.

Jared grins down at him, sunlight blazing across his bare skin, fingers dropping to undo his belt buckle, flipping open the button beneath. Dragging his zipper down into an enticing vee, hands curling the shell of his faded jeans around his hips, and Jensen can see the trenches of his inner hips, the fine trail of hair down the center of his open jeans, and he thinks they probably shouldn’t get completely naked, just in case, but that thought turns to dust as Jared drags his jeans even lower around his hips, reaching inside and pulling out his massive cock, flushed red and pearling with come.

They’re naked as they were born moments later, Jared straddling him, spit slicking Jensen’s dick, more spit wiped generously across Jared’s hole, and he slides down Jensen’s cock like it’s the best thing that ever existed, chin tilted up, eyes rolling back in his head, word ‘fuck’ escaping him like an explosion as he sinks to the base, hands braced against Jensen’s chest, fingernails digging deep into the muscle.

Spit slick isn’t going to be good for more than a few minutes, but that’s okay, because they’re not going to need much longer than that, both of them on fire with need, electricity across skin and the perfect fit of them together, like lock and key. 

Jared’s hips shiver, sliding up and down Jensen’s cock, and Jensen is encased in exquisitely tight heat, squeezing and pulling, that glorious body moving above him, against him, rippling muscle and hands tangling in his own hair as he rides Jensen like a pony. Jensen’s hands on his hips, guiding and slamming him down as he reaches the bottom of each thrust, and fuck, he’s amazing, so beautiful and perfect, biting into his lower lip as he rolls his spine and fucks Jensen like it could never be enough.

Jensen reaches up, hand gripping Jared’s long mane and pulling him down, kissing him hard and corkscrewing his hips, gasping into the open space of Jared’s mouth. Jared reaches down between them, fist stroking up his cock in the scant space between their bellies, and then they’re both coming, Jared’s body locking down hard around Jensen, squeezing his orgasm from him as Jared spills wet and hot across his belly, come streaking all the way to his chest.

They quiver and shiver, Jensen’s hand locked in a fist around Jared’s hair, other digging fingertips into his ass, pulling him closer, deeper as he thrusts up from the ground, burying himself deep as he shudders, coming so hard he pulls back from the kiss and bites hard into Jared’s jaw.

Jared convulses around him, pulling a final, shocking pulse from Jensen, Jared spattering one last burst of come against his belly, mouths fused together, and Jensen grips him tight by the hip and head, rolls him over, kissing him deep and hard, shivering thrusts until they’re both spent, lying in the grass, now.

Slow trembling of limbs, kissing until the aftershocks subside, and then Jared slides from him, moving to lie alongside him.

“Jesus,” Jensen breathes out, unsteady. 

“I know, right?” Jared says, smiling as he runs his fingers through Jensen’s hair. 

In the distance, the horses whicker, and above them, the sun shines. 

“Still…” Jensen breathes. “Quicker than I wanted it to be.”

“We’ll go slower later,” Jared assures him, kissing his mouth before drawing back and smiling.

Jensen smiles back, catching his breath. “We’ve still got that delivery boy scenario.”

“Oh my god, yes,” Jared utters, shivering lightly.

“But right now,” Jensen says, with an effort, “I think we should have dessert.”

“Can’t let the birthday pie go to waste,” Jared agrees, sunlight shining down on his face, eyes glowing with unearthly light, love shining through every color.

He’s so perfect. If Jensen had created Jared from scratch he wouldn’t be this perfect, because there are so many things that Jensen wouldn’t have even known to add. So many things he’d never imagined existed, so many he’d never even known _could_ exist.

Jensen exhales and pulls him in close, hand clasping the back of Jared’s neck, face turning to plant a kiss at the top of his head.

*

They get dressed slowly, stretching out on either side of the food again, and Jared actually lights a candle on the pie, urging Jensen to make a wish before he blows it out.

Jensen lifts his chin, eyelids fluttering as he considers.

“I think anything on the list of wishes after me should be pretty easy,” Jared comments, playful. 

Jensen laughs, lowers his head and blows out the candle with the same breath.

*

They eat pie, Jensen lingering over every taste of cherry, so glad that they’d ordered it from a local bakery to arrive today, and after, they clean up, packing up the food and bagging the used plates and utensils. They kiss long and lingeringly before mounting their horses, riding them slowly back along the trail.

They break into the clearing around the stables, and Jensen leans down across Freya’s massive neck, fingers touching the muscles of her flank as he whispers into her ear.

“I love him. I’ll always take good care of him. I promise.”

*

They rub down Champagne Problems first, bidding him goodbye before returning him to his stall. Freya is next, Jared hugging her hard and kissing her muzzle. She seems happy, but Jensen knows she doesn’t know that they’re leaving her--not yet anyway. Jared pulls back, fingertips still touching her face, saying, “I’ll be back soon, baby.”

The look shared between them tells Jensen all he needs to know. Jared doesn’t want to leave her, but he knows he has to. Freya is starting to know Jared’s leaving and hell, Jensen can’t imagine his life without Jared; he can only imagine how hard it is for the fucking horse.

To love and be loved by someone that amazing? They’re both blessed. But Jensen gets to have Jared all the time. Freya has to wait, never knowing when she’ll see him again.

Jensen moves to say goodbye to her next, looking into her big brown eyes and smiling. He leans in, lips pressing to her nose, and then her jaw, whispering, “Don’t worry. You’ll see him soon.”

*

They drive home, talking animatedly about riding, Taylor Swift’s Evermore playing in the background.

“Did you have a good day?” Jared asks as they pull into the driveway.

Jensen turns off the car, sitting back in his seat and smiling. “This was my best birthday ever.”

“You don’t have to say that for me,” Jared says, gently chiding.

“I’m saying it because it’s true.” And it is. Jensen can’t think of a time when he’s been more happy, when he’s had more fun... when he’s been more in love with someone. 

Jared squints at him like he doubts Jensen’s words, and Jensen needs to make this clear, right here, right now, leave no room for doubt.

“My birthday wish?” Jensen asks, rhetorically, “Was for more of this. More of you. Forever.” Jensen lifts his shoulders in a light shrug. “That’s all I want.” He lolls his head across the car headrest, smiling at Jared. “That’s all I need. More of this.”

Jared shakes his head, eyes wide, liquid. “Have I told you yet today that you’re amazing?”

“Only four times,” Jensen says, affecting sadness. 

“You’re amazing,” Jared assures him, lunging across the space between them to kiss him.

“Happy birthday,” Jared whispers, words mouthed against Jensen’s lips.

*

Thor bounds to greet them at the door, golden fur and wet, happy nose, pink-tongued kisses and joy, Loki threading around their ankles, purring black fur with half-lidded golden eyes.

Jensen falls to his knees, stroking them both, forehead pressed to Thor’s momentarily while Jared scoops up Loki and cradles the cat against his chest. Jensen turns his face against Thor’s, looking around the living room, and he’s struck by happiness. He loves his life, this life that he and Jared have built here; their family of each other and their four legged children, so full of warmth and safety and love.

It’s something he’d never imagined he would have--that he _could_ have--and he’s so incredibly grateful for it.

Loki jumps down from Jared’s arms, and Jensen stands up straight, fingers threading through Jared's and pulling him close.

“Bedroom. Now,” Jensen tells him.

“In the middle of the afternoon?” Jared gasps, pretending to be scandalized.

“I know you’re _shocked_ ,” Jensen drawls, sarcastic as he pulls Jared into his arms and kisses him.

*

After, they lie in a tangled sprawl of limbs and bedsheets, arms wrapped close around each other.

“I love you, Mr. Ackles,” Jared breathes, and Jensen laughs.

That roleplay had turned out hot as hell, as Jensen had known it would.

“And I love it here,” Jared says, eyes roving the room with warmth.

“Me, too,” Jensen says, and sighs, snuggling in closer against Jared. He takes a breath, scent of Jared filling his lungs, and smiles. “It’s a shame we have to move.”

Jared stiffens against him, head turning on that long, gorgeous neck to regard Jensen with shock. “What?”

“We have to move,” Jensen says simply, with a shrug.

Jared stares at him baffled. “Why?”

“Because now we have to buy a house,” Jensen tells him. “With a stable.”

Jared’s eyes are wide, strangely beautiful irises left surrounded by whites. “You’re serious.”

“Freya needs a real home,” Jensen says, lifting his shoulders lightly. “And so do we.”

Jared opens his mouth, closes it again, and then shakes his head fractionally, hair brushing against his cheeks. 

“Just say yes,” Jensen says.

“Yes,” Jared breathes out and kisses him, hard. 

“As if I’d say anything else,” Jared whispers, and smiles against Jensen’s mouth.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> When I started this back in December, I wrote it set on Jensen's birthday. And here we are. Today was the perfect day to finally finish it and post it. I hope you guys love it! 💖 There's still one more part to come


End file.
